Challenges of international marriage... Since I am a Russian married to an American, people often ask me questions about such relationships. Sometimes crazy questions like: “How can you possibly fell in love with a foreigner; person of another culture and background?” Sometimes more valid questions like: “How is it?”

If you ask me, international marriage is actually great … Well, while your vocabulary is quit small (limited). In another words, it is best while most of what you can say to each other is “I love you.” Wait till you learn all those other words…

If you went and asked my husband regarding international marriage, he will probably find it to be rather difficult. He will definitely remember time when he came back from work in a hot summer day, 100 degrees outside and found out that windows are wide open, while air conditioner is running like crazy. While trying to be calm as much as he could, he asked me why I have done that, why did I open windows and left air conditioner running at the same time. He got honest and straight answer: “I did need fresh air.” I proudly walked out of room; he was picking on me again. For your information that was how we got fresh air back in my country. Of course we did not have air conditioners to worry about.

He also will remember time when he taught me driving. By the way, I never will recommend anybody taking driving lessons from your spouses or girl or boy friends. It seems as he did not like anything that I done. I was driving too fast or too slow, I was driving on wrong site of the street, did not stop on stop sight. The culmination was when I was on a highway. That was a moment when I finally got tired of his picking and nagging. I hit brakes hard and stopped car in the middle of street. I remember my husband turn completely white, not able to say a word and another cars where blowing their horns while I tried to explain him why I did not enjoy him as my teacher.

He will certainly tell you about all electrical devices that I’ve broken. I am serious, but my husband is afraid. He does not let me even touch his bicycle. He thinks it is too complicated device for me to use.

My husband will share with you how one time I got lost and called him in a panic. We just moved to Dallas area, it was dark, empty fields all around me. I called him hoping for help. Do you know what his response was? He told me that I need to tell him where I was, what city, what street. I yelled:”If I knew the answers to all those questions would I call you? Just tell me how to get home!” Instead, he kept asking me those stupid questions like name of the street again. I hang up.

Now all of you probably are thinking that it is all so difficult for him only. I also can bring up few things.

For example, one time I shared with my second half how much I liked to go to the theme parks when I was a child. One day he announced that he will surprise me. He took me to the park. I was so happy and exited. I sat in this tiny chair so close to him. Then it started to move up and up, and then we were flying down. At this moment I was pretty sure that I was going to die. My all life was going in front of my yes. I thought if by some chance I will survive it, I will never forgive my husband for doing it to me. Now when he mentions surprise I am very cautious.

Or listen to this! I finally decided that I will start answering our home phone while my husband was at work. I picked phone and there was women’s voice asking for my husband. I asked if she wanted leave the message. She sure did. She left her name and phone number and told him to call him back. Then there was another women and another. I quite upset. How many women my husband dated and why they still calling him? First, I decided to buy ticket and fly back home. Then thoughts of wisdom came to me. I need to get divorce first. When my husband came back home and heard that his girlfriend called all day and I was leaving him he got so confused. What girlfriends, did I have their names? Then he tried to convince me that those were just telemarketers trying to sell something. That actually turned up to be truth. Different women called us countless number of times, till “no call” list was created.

If you are not married yet and wondering if you should consider international marriage. I will certainly say: Yes! … If you like a challenge! And also if you like mystery, and believe in love in spite of cultural and ethnical differences. If you can laugh at yourself, if you are prepared to laugh together! This year we are celebrating our 10 years anniversary and I will not trade those years with my husband to any other.

Masha Smith